Holiday Gifts To The Givers

I’ve given up sending “thing gifts” to my brothers and their families. As I said last year, they’re well enough off to buy what they want — or at least, to buy what they want that I could afford.

For awhile, I sent things they wouldn’t know they wanted. But I knew this was a crapshoot — as would anyone who’d gotten some of the gifts I have. (No, brothers and sisters-in-law, I’m not referring to yours.)

About five years ago, I decided to instead donate in my family’s names to nonprofits whose work means a lot to me. And now, like other last-minute shoppers, I’ve got to choose.

My e-mail box has been full of holiday appeals from nonprofits whose mailing lists I’ve gotten onto in various ways. So all I need to do is click. But for which?

On the one hand, I feel impoverished. There’s no way I could give to all the nonprofits that I know are doing worthy work in this world.

On the other hand, the plethora of choices makes me feel rich — not, of course, monetarily, but in hope. And, frankly, that’s a commodity I need these days.

I’m continually buoyed up by the sheer number of organizations that are addressing the critical needs of low-income people here in the U.S. — as direct service providers, advocates and both.

I’m buoyed up by how they stay buoyed up enough to keep at it. So many dreadful personal situations the service providers encounter every day. So many defeats on so many policy fronts.

And I’m buoyed up when these organizations work together — both through formal coalitions and through linkages formed for some specific cause. I’ve seen these collaborations overcome high odds.

We’ve got networks stretching across the country — and within some states and cities as well. They can — and do — reach out to engage communities most directly affected by the policies we have and might have, for better or worse.

There’s a wealth of energy, compassion, intelligence and just plain true grit in these organizations and the struggling people they represent. I’m constantly impressed by what they do — and how much they do with what are in many cases quite limited resources.

So as I mull over my gift list, I think how the people who staff and volunteer for these organizations are giving every day. And how they are a gift to us all and to me personally.

Because they’re inspiration and a ray of hope in what we all, I think, agree are very difficult times.

Making My List, Checking It Twice

Most members of my immediate family are comfortably well-off. This used to make holiday giving very challenging. If they wanted something, they already had it — or didn’t because it was beyond their means and thus mine as well.

So I’d look for something I thought they’d like but didn’t know they wanted — a nifty kitchen gadget, hand-woven baskets, a lovely new recording of the Messiah. I personally think you can’t have too many of those.

But I came to suspect that most of my gifts turned out to be just one of those things they didn’t have because they didn’t want, even when they got it. One of those “well, it’s the thought that counts” things.

So about four years ago, I hit on a different strategy. I started making donations in my family members’ names to nonprofits whose work I knew and cared about — mostly those whose budgets are small enough for modest donations like mine to make a difference.

And I’d write the benefactors about the organizations — how I knew them, what they were doing that my family members would also care about, etc. Our values are close enough to make this easy. Don’t know what I’d have done otherwise. But holiday gifts would have been the least of the problems.

Choosing organizations isn’t easy. But it’s a good occasion to reflect on those whose work I observe — and in some cases, benefit from and/or participate in as a blogger.

So I’m making my final choices and writing this because my solution my suit you and at least some of the people on your gift list. One thing’s for sure. It will make you feel good. A whole lot better than desperately scanning the crowded store shelves I’ll bet.

And if your recipients are anything like mine, they’ll feel grateful because you’ve relieved them from the challenge of finding the right thing for you too.

Nothing really original about my solution, of course. In fact, I’ve just discovered a website that urges us to “redefine Christmas” by exchanging gifts to charities.

If you’re so inclined, you can send your friends and family e-mail cards asking them to donate to your favorite. A little forward for my taste, but then family traditions are different.

Another newly-discovered website lets you buy gift cards so that your friends and family can choose which charities to benefit. There’s a charge for the cards and a small processing fee when they’re used.

Still, it’s quick, easy and gives you a nice selection of cards you can personalize — not all Christmas-themed. And it lets you give the pleasure of making a list to people you care enough about to gift at this holiday season.